Monday, May 12, 2014

One Month Home and She's Walking!


Yesterday was Mother's Day and not only did I get to spend it with all of my family and all 3 of my children, but Joyah took her FIRST STEPS!  On Mother's Day!  I never expected it because she often gets angry when you try to walk with her if its not her idea.  God is SO GOOD!  It has been a fun but tough month of adjustment but things are improving so much every day.  I will share part of an article that I wrote for our Orphan Ministry newsletter that helps sum of the month.  Sometimes it's hard to be honest but here you go....She is a blessing!


It was a really tough first week, much tougher than either of my newborns who didn’t sleep well, but didn’t cry.  Joyah, however, didn’t sleep and screamed, a lot.  One month later, I still hear phantom screams.  It’s a term I use which means “hearing screams when there is nobody screaming”.  It’s real!

            During this really tough first week of little to no sleep, we were blessed by so many of our friends and church family.  We had meals coming and it was the most helpful and loving thing that could have been done. My Mom came to help with the house and laundry as well.  I was so exhausted that when I was awake the room would spin and driving was just as bad.   About a week later, however, Joyah slept most of the night in her own room and crib, only waking a couple of times but putting herself back to sleep.  This was the beginning of a huge “Yes” answer to prayer.  Since then we have had many better nights then bad and we hear the screams and the “phantom” screams much less.   

            So, if no one has ever said that adoption is hard, they haven’t told you the whole truth.  The process is tough, expensive and emotionally draining.  Bringing a child home to your family that you did not “carry” for 9 months is really hard!  Our new daughter came home to us at 17 months old and not as a cute, cuddly newborn.  My boys didn’t sleep as newborns but they also didn’t come with a 2 year old attitude from a country that doesn’t tell their kid “No” until they’re 8 years old either!  Joyah has thrown tantrums that require us to restrain her, accompanied by the screaming.  It was a tough start but her tantrums and attitude have also improved tremendously.  We are so thankful.

 Over the past month, I have questioned my decision to adopt at times and whether I really wanted to share my house with a girl.  I share this because it’s the real face of adoption and that it requires a real choice to love a child that can be hard to love.  God must feel that way about us sometimes, but He chooses to love us no matter what.  Sometimes it takes work and a decision to love a child.  Self has to take a back seat.  I have come to realize how comfortable I was with having two boys who are now 8 and 5 years old.  They can use the bathroom, feed themselves, play independently, let you sleep in and allow you to be selfish.  Letting go of the “selfishness” is hard! 

However, throughout all the struggles of sleep, tantrums and stubbornness, we have seen the hand of God move mightily.  The doctors expected Joyah to have a lot of difficulties using the right side of her body because of the medical needs she experienced as an infant.  She has “happily surprised” all the doctors and therapist at Children’s Mercy Clinics.  Her CT scan would say that she cannot do everything that she is doing but she is doing very well.  She can use all limbs and as of Mother’s Day, she can walk!!!  God knew I needed this encouragement and special gift.  When we first met her she refused to try to stand, crawl or do anything off of a bed.  She wanted to be carried everywhere and would be quite stubborn at times.  It is very difficult to get her to try anything that requires her to work hard.   This includes drinking, playing with toys in a particular way and walking.  I am so thankful to say that she is now taking steps and drinking out of a straw cup independently.

God is good.  It’s been a rewarding month of accomplishments and “firsts” as we are new parents to her.   She has experienced more new things in the past month then she had in her entire life until now.  It’s pretty special that we get to be the ones to experience it with her.   Even though this month has also been one of the toughest of our lives, it has also been quite rewarding.   God never said doing His work would be easy but the rewards are great!

Mother's Day 2014

She's Walking!!

 


Easter 2014

 

 

Loving the Swing


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