Happy Father's Day!!



 

Yesterday we enjoyed celebrating Father's Day with a pretty awesome Daddy, my husband James.  He is a hard worker, outdoorsman, jokester and most importantly he loves his family, children and his Lord.  He wrote a Father's Day article for our Orphan care ministry and I would like to share his heart with you. 

Happy Father's Day James!  Jonas, Josiah & Joyah & Mommy are Thankful!

He Gave

by James McNutt

I can still vividly recall the anxiety I was feeling when I became a father a little over 10 years ago.   I’d never been around kids much and I was still trying to figure out what this “daddy” thing was going to entail.  All of the sudden, I had to help care for, help train, and help provide for this new little creature that shared my looks and my last name.   I’ll never forget bringing our firstborn son, Jonas home, taking him out of his car seat and laying him on a blanket in the middle of our living room floor.  I looked down at him as he wriggled around and thought to myself, ‘Now what?’ 

As all babies do, Jonas quickly filled in the answer to my ‘Now what’ question with the constant need for watch and care.  Many adventures and sleepless nights followed that first question.   As time together passed, I was realizing how my love for this little guy that I had just met was increasing exponentially.  It was a love without end and a love that would see me do anything necessary to protect and care for my son.  It was unconditional.  No matter what might happen, my love for this boy would never wain. 

Being a daddy to Jonas had brought me a deep joy I had never known, so when I found out a second child was on the way, anxiousness had given way to anticipation.  When I first laid eyes on Josiah, my second born, the tears let go because I knew I got to share all my love with another child.  I’ll never forget the precious lady that delivered lunch to our room the next day.  She said, “Have a blessed day”.  On the surface, it was just a simple expression, but it helped me realize how God was using the blessing of my children to teach me about Him.

My beautiful, precious boys have brought me great joy, but they didn’t and won’t always obey me.   Along with the joy, there have been many moments of frustration and tears.  Daddy has had to get “mean” at times to teach the boys the way they should go and show them right from wrong.  I have realized through them, God is showing me my relationship to Him.  As a child of His, He takes great joy in me.   However, there are times I don’t listen and obey Him.  I have to be corrected just like my children.  Despite the troubles I give Him, God still loves me unconditionally.  God’s love for me will never waver.  He will continue to take great joy in me even when I’m unfaithful to Him.  God gave me my children to show me how deep His love is for His children.

God continued to teach me about His deep love when He led my wife Michelle and me to grow our family through adoption.  Michelle and I quickly realized the process of completing an adoption is difficult.  The money that must be raised seems insurmountable, the paperwork and chase is inconceivable, the interviews, the reference letters, the background checks, seem never ending.  After that is finally done comes the waiting period for sign off from all involved parties and then comes the excruciating waiting period to be matched with a child.  When the match finally occurred and we were matched with our little Joyah, we still had to wait a few more months and then travel 7,000 miles to her.  It wasn’t easy stuff, but when I walked into that crowded, tiny room after all that time and picked up and held my precious little girl, it made all of that trouble seem like a long-forgotten memory.   Once again God had shown me His love for me.  No matter how far away I get from Him or how difficult it might seem to be to get to me, He will find me.  He will pick me up and He will hold me and He will call me His son.  He left heaven and gave up everything to find me. 

As we continue our journey with Joyah, things are becoming ever more difficult.  Joyah fights against all that is good and all that is happy.  If something makes her feel comfort, feel loved, or brings enjoyment, she will try to push it away.  It has even gotten to the point that she resists all food because it makes her feel comfortable and cared for.  She struggles with a condition called attachment disorder.  This disorder is a result of the trauma of her past and it causes her to resist the comfort of a loving and submissive, relationship with her mommy and daddy.  She wants to live in the superficial and be dependent on only herself. 

Watching her, it is clear Joyah has a deep seated, internal struggle.  She desperately wants to be loved and enjoy life, but something inside won’t let her.  She has a mommy and daddy that will fight for her and struggle for her at all costs.  She has a mommy and daddy that love her unconditionally no matter what, but she can’t fully accept their love.   Joyah’s condition reminds me of the relationship so many in the world have with God.  God loves them no matter what they do.  They have a loving God that left heaven to find them wherever they are.  God fought and conquered the darkness to bring them peace and comfort.  Yet, despite the actions of God the Father, so many can’t fully accept His love and His sacrifice.  They are left in a state of internal struggle.  God however will continue to love them and fight for them so that they might come to personally know the peace and comfort of His love.  He won’t give up.  Like God loves us, I will relentlessly love my Joyah and through God’s grace and mercies she will find her peace.

My children have taught me and will continue to teach me the depths of God’s love for me and His children.  As a parent, I’ve learned the most often quoted verse in the bible, John 3:16 is also the best at explaining the amazing, incomprehensible nature of God’s love for this world.  “For God so loved the world, He gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life” It is easy to pass over what God gave in this oft quoted scripture, but as a parent, it hit me one day that what He gave was actually a Who.  God the Father gave His only son Jesus to die on a ruthless and torturous cross so that a world full of sinners might not stay dead in their sin.  As a daddy, I cannot fathom this.  I might die to save someone else, but there is no way I’d give my son or daughter over to die for a sinner.  Nevertheless, God’s love for the world is so much greater than even my love for my children that it’s unexplainable.  He gave His son.  He gave His delight.  He gave and allowed His beloved son to die a brutal death so that we orphaned sinners might not stay as orphans.  Because of what He gave, we can become children of God.  Because of His unfailing, relentless love, we can call Him Daddy!