Yesterday we enjoyed celebrating Father's Day with a pretty awesome Daddy, my husband James. He is a hard worker, outdoorsman, jokester and most importantly he loves his family, children and his Lord. He wrote a Father's Day article for our Orphan care ministry and I would like to share his heart with you.
Happy Father's Day James! Jonas, Josiah & Joyah & Mommy are Thankful!
He Gave
by James McNutt
I can still vividly recall the
anxiety I was feeling when I became a father a little over 10 years ago. I’d
never been around kids much and I was still trying to figure out what this
“daddy” thing was going to entail. All
of the sudden, I had to help care for, help train, and help provide for this
new little creature that shared my looks and my last name. I’ll
never forget bringing our firstborn son, Jonas home, taking him out of his car
seat and laying him on a blanket in the middle of our living room floor. I looked down at him as he wriggled around
and thought to myself, ‘Now what?’
As all babies do, Jonas quickly
filled in the answer to my ‘Now what’ question with the constant need for watch
and care. Many adventures and sleepless
nights followed that first question. As
time together passed, I was realizing how my love for this little guy that I
had just met was increasing exponentially.
It was a love without end and a love that would see me do anything
necessary to protect and care for my son.
It was unconditional. No matter
what might happen, my love for this boy would never wain.
Being a daddy to Jonas had
brought me a deep joy I had never known, so when I found out a second child was
on the way, anxiousness had given way to anticipation. When I first laid eyes on Josiah, my second
born, the tears let go because I knew I got to share all my love with another
child. I’ll never forget the precious
lady that delivered lunch to our room the next day. She said, “Have a blessed day”. On the surface, it was just a simple
expression, but it helped me realize how God was using the blessing of my
children to teach me about Him.
My beautiful, precious boys have brought
me great joy, but they didn’t and won’t always obey me. Along with the joy, there have been many
moments of frustration and tears. Daddy has
had to get “mean” at times to teach the boys the way they should go and show
them right from wrong. I have realized
through them, God is showing me my relationship to Him. As a child of His, He takes great joy in
me. However, there are times I don’t
listen and obey Him. I have to be corrected
just like my children. Despite the
troubles I give Him, God still loves me unconditionally. God’s love for me will never waver. He will continue to take great joy in me even
when I’m unfaithful to Him. God gave me
my children to show me how deep His love is for His children.
God continued to teach me about
His deep love when He led my wife Michelle and me to grow our family through adoption. Michelle and I quickly realized the process
of completing an adoption is difficult.
The money that must be raised seems insurmountable, the paperwork and
chase is inconceivable, the interviews, the reference letters, the background
checks, seem never ending. After that is
finally done comes the waiting period for sign off from all involved parties
and then comes the excruciating waiting period to be matched with a child. When the match finally occurred and we were
matched with our little Joyah, we still had to wait a few more months and then
travel 7,000 miles to her. It wasn’t
easy stuff, but when I walked into that crowded, tiny room after all that time
and picked up and held my precious little girl, it made all of that trouble seem
like a long-forgotten memory. Once
again God had shown me His love for me.
No matter how far away I get from Him or how difficult it might seem to
be to get to me, He will find me. He
will pick me up and He will hold me and He will call me His son. He left heaven and gave up everything to find
me.
As we continue our journey with
Joyah, things are becoming ever more difficult.
Joyah fights against all that is good and all that is happy. If something makes her feel comfort, feel
loved, or brings enjoyment, she will try to push it away. It has even gotten to the point that she
resists all food because it makes her feel comfortable and cared for. She struggles with a condition called attachment
disorder. This disorder is a result of
the trauma of her past and it causes her to resist the comfort of a loving and
submissive, relationship with her mommy and daddy. She wants to live in the superficial and be dependent
on only herself.
Watching her, it is clear Joyah
has a deep seated, internal struggle.
She desperately wants to be loved and enjoy life, but something inside won’t
let her. She has a mommy and daddy that
will fight for her and struggle for her at all costs. She has a mommy and daddy that love her
unconditionally no matter what, but she can’t fully accept their love. Joyah’s condition reminds me of the
relationship so many in the world have with God. God loves them no matter what they do. They have a loving God that left heaven to
find them wherever they are. God fought and conquered the darkness to bring them peace and
comfort. Yet, despite the actions of God
the Father, so many can’t fully accept His love and His sacrifice. They are left in a state of internal
struggle. God however will continue to
love them and fight for them so that they might come to personally know the
peace and comfort of His love. He won’t
give up. Like God loves us, I will relentlessly
love my Joyah and through God’s grace and mercies she will find her peace.
My children have taught me and
will continue to teach me the depths of God’s love for me and His
children. As a parent, I’ve learned the
most often quoted verse in the bible, John 3:16 is also the best at explaining
the amazing, incomprehensible nature of God’s love for this world. “For God so loved the world, He gave his only
begotten son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal
life” It is easy to pass over what God gave in this oft quoted scripture, but
as a parent, it hit me one day that what He gave was actually a Who. God the Father gave His only son Jesus to die
on a ruthless and torturous cross so that a world full of sinners might not
stay dead in their sin. As a daddy, I
cannot fathom this. I might die to save
someone else, but there is no way I’d give my son or daughter over to die for a
sinner. Nevertheless, God’s love for the
world is so much greater than even my love for my children that it’s unexplainable. He gave His son. He gave His delight. He gave and allowed His beloved son to die a
brutal death so that we orphaned sinners might not stay as orphans. Because of what He gave, we can become children
of God. Because of His unfailing,
relentless love, we can call Him Daddy!
