It was a
really tough first week, much tougher than either of my newborns who didn’t
sleep well, but didn’t cry. Joyah,
however, didn’t sleep and screamed, a lot.
One month later, I still hear phantom screams. It’s a term I use which means “hearing screams
when there is nobody screaming”. It’s
real!
During this really tough first week
of little to no sleep, we were blessed by so many of our friends and church
family. We had meals coming and it was
the most helpful and loving thing that could have been done. My Mom came to
help with the house and laundry as well.
I was so exhausted that when I was awake the room would spin and driving
was just as bad. About a week later,
however, Joyah slept most of the night in her own room and crib, only waking a
couple of times but putting herself back to sleep. This was the beginning of a huge “Yes” answer
to prayer. Since then we have had many better
nights then bad and we hear the screams and the “phantom” screams much
less.
So, if no one has ever said that
adoption is hard, they haven’t told you the whole truth. The process is tough, expensive and
emotionally draining. Bringing a child
home to your family that you did not “carry” for 9 months is really hard! Our new daughter came home to us at 17 months
old and not as a cute, cuddly newborn.
My boys didn’t sleep as newborns but they also didn’t come with a 2 year
old attitude from a country that doesn’t tell their kid “No” until they’re 8
years old either! Joyah has thrown
tantrums that require us to restrain her, accompanied by the screaming. It was a tough start but her tantrums and
attitude have also improved tremendously.
We are so thankful.
Over the past month, I
have questioned my decision to adopt at times and whether I really wanted to
share my house with a girl. I share this
because it’s the real face of adoption and that it requires a real choice to
love a child that can be hard to love.
God must feel that way about us sometimes, but He chooses to love us no
matter what. Sometimes it takes work and a decision to love
a child. Self has to take a back seat. I have come to realize how comfortable I was
with having two boys who are now 8 and 5 years old. They can use the bathroom, feed themselves,
play independently, let you sleep in and allow you to be selfish. Letting go of the “selfishness” is hard!
However, throughout all the
struggles of sleep, tantrums and stubbornness, we have seen the hand of God
move mightily. The doctors expected
Joyah to have a lot of difficulties using the right side of her body because of
the medical needs she experienced as an infant.
She has “happily surprised” all the doctors and therapist at Children’s
Mercy Clinics. Her CT scan would say
that she cannot do everything that she is doing but she is doing very
well. She can use all limbs and as of
Mother’s Day, she can walk!!! God knew I
needed this encouragement and special gift.
When we first met her she refused to try to stand, crawl or do anything
off of a bed. She wanted to be carried
everywhere and would be quite stubborn at times. It is very difficult to get her to try
anything that requires her to work hard.
This includes drinking, playing
with toys in a particular way and walking.
I am so thankful to say that she is now taking steps and drinking out of
a straw cup independently.
God is good. It’s been
a rewarding month of accomplishments and “firsts” as we are new parents to her.
She has experienced more new things in
the past month then she had in her entire life until now. It’s pretty special that we get to be the
ones to experience it with her. Even though this month has also been one of
the toughest of our lives, it has also been quite rewarding. God
never said doing His work would be easy but the rewards are great!
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| Mother's Day 2014 |
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| She's Walking!! |
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| Easter 2014 |
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| Loving the Swing |
